Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
