Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
