I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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