You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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