this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
