Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
