I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
