Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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