Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
