it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
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best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
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In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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