You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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