Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
