I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize