He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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