I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i think my cat just said my name.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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