I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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