I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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