Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
