It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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