It's Friday. Sex?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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