Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize