U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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