Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize