hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
