hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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