Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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