she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
