bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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