I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
