think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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