and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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