just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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