im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
