dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
