Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
