Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
