roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
