Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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