In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
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We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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