Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
