I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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