covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
