I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
