you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Less talking, more tequila
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
