How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize