New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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