I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
