Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
