y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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