You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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