standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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