guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
