We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
