My nipple is on Facebook.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize