I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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