why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
