I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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