Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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