I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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