Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
