just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
