shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
