Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
